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Relationship/Couples
Therapy & Support
Couples therapy and relationship counselling in South Surrey and online in BC
Helping couples on a fertility journey and in the transition to parenthood
GROW TOGETHER
BE ON THE SAME TEAM
Investing into Your Relationship
- AN INVESTMENT INTO YOU
"Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread;
remade all the time, made new"
- Ursula K. Le Guin -
Our significant relationships can bring a significant amount of comfort - or discomfort - to our lives. As stressors outside of the relationship increase, the need for tools to manage stress within the relationship increases too. For many, the couple relationship can become a sort of thermometer (think hot or cold) or barometer (think low or high pressure) of our personal well-being. It makes sense that we want it to work out "right." It's also understandable that we may stumble along the way.
Relationship challenges are not necessarily problematic. How we deal with them can be.
Couples therapy can interrupt unhelpful patterns and lay down the foundation for new ones - interactions that lead to better communication, connection, and genuine care.
Why The Early Years Matter in Your Relationships
(EVEN MORE THAN WE THINK)
Similar to the early years of a child's life, a great deal of growth and development happens in the early years of a relationship. Opportunities for support and care fosters resilience, lays down positive pathways, and help child to thrive - just as in a relationship. While most relationships begin with the best of intentions, the reality is that relationships don't ride on good intentions alone. Intentions needs to translate into effective action, sustained efforts, ongoing negotiations, and skills of repair.
Decisions and efforts around creating or building a family is often one of the first major stressors or transitions that a couple will encounter together. While these can be vulnerable times in the life of the relationship, the capacity for growth is equally met.
"What's shareable is bearable."
- Dr. Dan Seigel -
Couples Therapy for Prospective, Expecting &
Early Years Parents
Below are some of the challenges that couples at various stages in the early years of building their families may face.
Couples therapy can help those on a fertility journey or facing infertility:
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decisions about fertility treatment steps, processes, and planning; financial stress
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discrepancies in emotional, physical, and mental load-bearing between partners
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differences in individual styles of coping with shared stress and uncertainty
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external stressors impacting the internal bond between partners
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acts of love taking on an "acts of duty" quality
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managing expectations in social settings
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a sense of being on a emotional rollercoaster or emotional burnout impacting interactions and capacity
Expecting couples may go to relationship counselling for:
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differing expectations or views regarding a birthing plan, involvement of others, support needs
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dealing with anxiety and uncertainty associated with the transition
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different experiences of bonding with developing baby
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concerns and anxiety related to birthing person's or baby's health/well-being
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varied experiences between partners regarding impact of pregnancy multiple life areas
Couples with babies and young children might go to counselling for:
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impacts of major life transition within a brief period of time
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differences in parenting styles/approaches
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navigating changes to individual and couple identity, and roles in the relationship
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conflict related to load-sharing and domestic duties/roles
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little time and space to resolve disagreements or connect on a deeper level
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challenges with support system or extended family involvement
"Perfection is not the price of love. Practice is. Love is an action even more than a feeling."
- Dr. John Gottman -
How Couples Therapy Can Help
Here are just a few of the ways relationship therapy might help you and your partner deepen relationship satisfaction or decide next steps.
01
Stop the cycle that hurts
Over time, couples land into patterns of dealing with hard things. Sometimes these patterns can work in the short term, but over time, limit the couple's ability to grow together. Having the support of a trained professional can help couples to identify interactional patterns, replace unhelpful stances or responses, find balances of power, and ensure each partner gets heard.
03
Set boundaries to strengthen the bond
Couples are pulled in many directions by the realities of life. Busy schedules, immediate stressors, caring for others' needs, maintaining multiple roles and outside factors can continuously test the boundaries around the relationship. Therapy can help place flexible structure around protecting the relationship, building friendship and appreciation, and creating space for vulnerability and closeness.
05
Learn lasting skills
Many people are caught between knowing that relationships can take work and/or also believing good relationships should come naturally. Our internal model of relationships tends to be a blend of what we are exposed to and our responses to these models (i.e. move toward or reject certain aspects). Couples therapy can help develop a conscious and collaborative vision of a healthy relationship - and teach the relational skills to get there. It can also be an experiment-and practice-ground so that you feel more confident when you leave the therapy room.
02
Support the hard conversations
It can feel really intimidating to bring up or tackle tough stuff. Uncertainty around partner reactions, previous disappointments, and big emotions can lead couples to shy away from rocking the boat. Couples therapy can help you lean into what you've been avoiding, get underneath "surface" fights and learn to share the load within the relationship.
04
Better understand your inner worlds
While couples therapy takes a look at the relationship dynamic, it also inherently addresses the relationship you have with yourself. Couples therapy assists to clarify your own and others' expectations, identify and speak truth about your needs, explore your own past hurts, and understand the stories you tell yourself about partner's behaviour that impact your response.
06
Lay the path for growth
Each new phase of life can bring new transitions for a relationship. It can be helpful to develop a relationship with someone who simultaneously supports each individual's growth and the relationship's continued growth - in whatever direction that may be.
