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Parent / Caregiver Support
Counselling for caregiver and parent mental health in South Surrey and BC
Helping you to meet your care needs so you can meet theirs
FIND JOY IN PARENTHOOD
DEVELOP CONFIDENCE
"I came to parenting the way most of us do - knowing nothing and trying to learn everything."
- Mayim Bialik-
At times, the gravity of raising and taking care of little humans (or larger ones too!) can become quite heavy. We may question if we are doing the "right thing," wonder if we are messing up our kids or simply get lost in the uncertainty of parenting. There is a ton of parenting information and various parenting approaches out there.
While there are effective parenting practices that we can explore together, this space is less about finding another strategy and more about supporting your growth in your parenting role and your relationship with your child.
The more deeply you get to know yourself and your unique child, the greater "knowing" and confidence you will have about what will work for your unique relationship.
And it is from this strengthened relationship, you can best "parent."
THE WINDING ROAD
OF PARENTING AND CAREGIVING
There are plenty of reasons why a parent or caregiver might choose to see a therapist for concerns related to the parenting/caregiving role, such as:
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Caregiver fatigue and parental burnout: While originally contained to the field of paid work, the incidence and slow recognition of fatigue and burnout amongst parents is increasing. So much so, that in 2024 the US Surgeon General issued an advisory about the "impact of modern stresses on parents' mental health." (CBC News article). Burnout and caregiver fatigue can creep up on us silently because often parents will interpret the symptoms as part of the package - or even a personal failing - instead of what these symptoms are actually representing.
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Overwhelming thoughts and feelings: It makes sense that what we value most in life will take up the most space in our hearts and feelings. This may be especially notable when we harbour concern or worry for those whom we care about most. Sometimes, the sheer mental and emotional load of everyday parenting - without additional concerns - can be enough to overwhelm our nervous systems.
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A need for more support: Modern villages are needed more than ever to accommodate the modern needs of families. However, many people don't have the same access to the "village" they need.
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Understanding difficult behaviours: It can be hard to know what is happening for our kids/teens/young adults, underneath the behaviours we see. Parents can swing between wanting to blame their child and wanting to blame themselves when things get hard.
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Processing experiences related to YOUR parents and childhood: Nothing brings up past memories of how we were parented, quite like the experience of being parents ourselves. Many of us make unconscious decisions about how we will - or won't - parent, along with parenting beliefs, as a result of our own experiences as young people.
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Specific acute and developmental stressors: Families can experience a number of internal and external situations that stress the family system. From transitions, to work/school stressors, loss, illness, disability, neurodiversity... parenting through any of these can be tough!
"There's no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one."
- Sue Atkins-
How Therapy for Parents Can Help
Here are just a few of the ways therapy might help you navigate parenting or caregiver concerns:
01
(Re)connect to yourself & your child
There are times in the parenting path where you may feel as though you are managing your family schedule and your child's behaviour more often than you are connecting with your kiddo. Life's fast pace makes it easy to fall out of step with ourselves and the hearts of our children. Having the opportunity to slow down and be present, along with therapeutic support to connect with our internal world, can help us re-align with our values, intentions, personal needs, and moments of parental joy. This presence can also open up doors of connection with your child who may simply need the space to open up.
03
Find "you" in your life and relationships
A common sentiment amongst parents is a sense of loss of self. With so much of your life having been reorganized around your family's needs, you may be fogetting about, or ignoring, your own needs! At times parents can feel huge shifts in identity and a longing to connect with new or old passions or parts of self that are missed. Some parents may feel as though they don't know who they are anymore. Therapy can help you processes the gains and losses that have come with change, while also taking a look at how to bring more of "you" back into your life.
05
Understand your child's challenging behaviour
There are going to be times when you may wish you had a book to translate what your child - or their behaviour - is trying to tell you. Kids and teens are more apt to act out than talk out, how they feel about what is going on in their world. That said, it is also true that not all behaviour necessarily has a deeper meaning. Sometimes what can look like really odd behaviour can actually be quite developmentally appropriate! That said, your concerns deserve to be addressed, questions asked, and support given to yourself - and by association, your child. Therapy can help you understand what may be developmental, what may be cause for concern, process feelings about your child's behaviour, and be a safe place to try out new ways to help your child.
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Invite your past to be your teacher, not a tyrant
We all bring experiences from our "first family" and our pre-parent lives that impact our parenting beliefs and behaviours - consciously or unconsciously. Becoming aware of these influences can be the difference between making a choice or falling into a cycle of reactivity or default-mode parenting. Therapy can help you break cycles you don't want to be in - with yourself and with your child - so you can feel closer and more engaged in the parent role. Carry forward a family legacy of your choosing!
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Discover who you are as a parent
There is no shortage of parenting advice, approaches, opinions, and books out there! So much so, it can be downright overwhelming trying to learn how to be a "good parent!" You may find yourself caught in paralysis between conflicting information, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. A therapist can help you to sift through all the "noise" and voices of others, to more clearly hear or develop your own voice. This personalized approach will also take into account your child's unique characteristics and the interplay of your two worlds.
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Develop your internal and external village.
We've all heard how important it is to have a village to raise and support a child. However, putting this into play is NOT that simple. Modern villages are different and vary with a number of factors - familial relationships and proximity, access to community support, cultural factors, etc. Therapy can help you develop your external support network - but also your internal support network. At times, being able to call upon different strengths or parts of ourselves can be important, along with the helpful legacies or impressions of those people/voices who have had a positive impact in our own lives.
