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You matter
Take Care of Your Perinatal Mental Health
No two people experience pregnancy and postpartum the same.
Yet, we are faced with a number of societal and cultural messages that shape our expectations of how things "should" be, look, or feel. When personal experiences don't line up with these expectations, you may start to wonder if you are doing it "wrong." Or worse, question if there is something wrong with you - as though struggling is a sign of failing somehow.
Struggling does NOT mean that you are doing this wrong - or that you weren't meant to be a parent.
You are a parent who simply needs more support.
"In giving birth to our babies, we may find we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves."
- Myla & John Kabat-Zinn -
The Perinatal Stage
Life Before Baby
Arrival of Baby
Life With Baby
The perinatal period commonly refers to early pregnancy up to the first year following birth. If we consider changes to the brain and body however, some research suggests that significant changes continue to occur up to 2 years post-birth.
This period of time involves some of the most dramatic shifts and life transitions, encompassing all aspects of the perinatal person's life. Virtually no area remains unchanged!
This includes changes to:
BODY/BIOLOGY
SPIRITUALITY
EMOTIONS
IDENTITY
COGNITION/THOUGHTS
FINANCES
RELATIONSHIPS
SELFHOOD
Pritschet, L., Taylor, C.M., Cossio, D. et al. Neuroanatomical changes observed over the course of a human pregnancy. Nat Neurosci (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41593-024-01741-0)
The perinatal period is a tremendous stage of growth and change.
Significant change means a significant amount of your life energy will be wrapped up in
adjustment to such changes.
Struggles You May Be Experiencing As a New Mom
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Challenges with breastfeeding, sleep & nutrition impacting mood
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Feeling disconnected from self and baby
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Increased conflict in your relationship
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A sense of loss for your old life and ambivalence about being a parent
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Self-doubt and concerns about being alone with baby
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Memories of a prior loss
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BIG emotions such as sadness, guilt and rage
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Increased fear, worry and anxiety
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Scary thoughts
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Thoughts of comparison
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Fears about sharing your concerns with others
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Difficulty managing the mental load
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Thoughts and feelings about how you were parented
Don't go through this alone
Yes, Good Mothers Also Get...
... Pre or Postpartum: Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Psychosis and Perinatal Trauma.
And so do good fathers.
HERE you will find more on help for impacted partners .
Please note this is a LGBTQ+ allied practice and families of ALL constellations are welcome.
Wondering if this is you? Learn more about signs and symptoms of perinatal adjustment, anxiety, and depression HERE.
How Perinatal Therapy Can Help
Here are just a few of the ways therapy might help you with pre/postpartum adjustment, perinatal depression and anxiety
01
Honour and identify all the changes
Being able to name and have feelings (without judgement) about all the ways your life has changed is incredibly important to understanding what you are going through. Parenthood is multidimensional and full of simultaneous, yet seemingly opposite experiences. Meaning, you may feel immense love for your baby and want your old life back at the same time!
03
Update unhelpful beliefs
Very little will challenge our beliefs or old mindsets quite like parenthood. We may harbour beliefs about productivity and worth, beliefs about ourselves, beliefs about what makes a good parent, etc. Sometimes those old beliefs in this new experience just don't mesh well and brings us a great deal of discomfort. Therapy can help you explore new ways of understanding, new yardsticks to measure "success," and new ways to hold compassion for ourselves as perfectly imperfect parents.
05
Identify and enlist supports
The old adage "It takes a village to raise a child" has gone through the test of time for good reason. Not everyone has active support systems at this particularly vulnerable period of life. Therapy can help you identify, connect with and communicate effectively to enlist the support of others or community resources that can greatly assist you in carrying the load during this time.
02
Bring ease to symptoms
Understanding which parts of your current experience (i.e. thoughts, feelings, behaviours) are symptoms of perinatal adjustment, anxiety or depression can bring immense relief - especially when you are able to learn and utilize strategies to ease these symptoms on a day-to-day basis. Suddenly, you are no longer your symptoms, but a whole self, managing symptoms.
04
Illuminate the larger context
Many people carry with them legacies from their previous experiences, the ways in which they were raised, or old messages they received that have carried forward. These experiences may also include Inequities for those belonging to a marginalized community. Being able to understand the tender parts in ourselves better, can help us be less reactive and more intentional parents. Perhaps there is no real singular guidebook to parenting because we are meant to write our own.
06
Become comfortable in new shoes
Becoming a parent requires a tremendous amount of learning-on-the-job. It makes sense we won't have all the answers and need to learn as we go. Therapy can help you to become more comfortable with uncertainty, develop confidence, and grow to be the parent you want to be (maybe not ALL the time though - we are human after all)!
Start therapy with me in Surrey and across BC
How Does Perinatal/Postpartum Counselling Work?
Your therapy will be tailored to your specific needs and circumstances and be an ongoing collaborative process. Some of the therapeutic approaches and methods used may include:
All those approaches integrate trauma-informed methods and are culturally-sensitive.
Hi, I'm Leanne, pleasure to meet you!
Meet Your Therapist in South Surrey
Leanne Fessler M.A., R.C.C
Registered Clinical Counsellor #3000
"If you are struggling, burdened by worries, and looking for meaningful change, I would love to help you make that happen."
I'm an experienced therapist who has worked with a diverse client population in private practice, non-profit, university and community settings. My work has been expansive, including years as a child and family therapist, alongside providing therapy to adults and couples.
I have extensive specialized training and experience working with reproductive, perinatal mental health and parent concerns. To contribute on a larger level, I have organized and led multiple community-based initiatives for prospective, expecting, and new or early years parents.
I take special interest in working with parents and parent-to-be, those impacted by anxiety, infertility challenges, women navigating life and health transitions, and healthcare/other helping professionals.
I have additional specialized training in treating anxiety and depression (multiple approaches including CBT), trauma (somatic and EMDR approaches), grief and loss, child/youth therapy, expressive arts approaches, parenting and couples (Relational Life Therapy and Gottman BBH).
Read more about my approach, experience and background:
What To Know When Working With Me
Find out more about therapy in Surrey
YOU ARE NOT JUST ANOTHER CLIENT.
I truly care about you and your well-being. The therapeutic relationship is the heart of this work. I will take the time to get to know you and help you get to know yourself in new ways.
I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET THERE & I'M HERE TO HELP.
"There" is defined by you. Whether it means being in a healthy relationship with yourself and others, finding meaning, or meeting a personal goal, I believe in your capacity to grow. I'm committed to doing my part to be an ongoing learner and an ethical, trained care provider. Doing good work matters to me.
I AM A FELLOW TRAVELLER.
My life path has been bumpy too and I am an ongoing learner in both my life and my career. I continue to sit in the client chair myself so I that I can bring my personal best to you and sit in the student chair so I can bring my professional best to our work together.
Find Out More About Postpartum Mental Care
Perinatal/Postpartum Adjustment
Significant changes within are imminent the moment we step on the path to parenthood. While some shifts are quite universal, they also vary depending on internal and circumstances (i.e. planned/unplanned, medically or otherwise-assisted conception. pregnancy loss or other losses, traumatic experiences).
During the prenatal period, adjustment can often mean: a shift to future thinking, changes in decision making processes (reflecting changing priorities), and adjustments to ongoing body changes (for birthing parents).
Post- birth, many parents are taken aback by a new life that looks so different from the one they were living just 48hrs earlier! This sense of shock can feel even more surreal when that "glowing bond" to baby is not an immediate experience (which it is not uncommon!)
We can feel at our most vulnerable and under-resourced - at a time when we want to bring our best to the table!
This can leave many parents feeling that they are struggling to meet their own or others' expectations, or simply the demands of being a parent to a baby.
Adjusting to life with a baby is not easy.
Needing to talk out all these changes with someone is not unusual at all.
For many, is helpful in processing such a big life change. Often, people experience some relief to low mood or anxiety symptoms as a result of being able to speak openly about their experiences (especially the unfavorable ones). Sometimes, this prevents the challenging symptoms from becoming more problematic. For some, however, symptoms of anxiety and depression do move on to meet criteria for perinatal depression or anxiety diagnosis.
It is estimated that 1 in 5 women may be impacted by perinatal depression and up to 20% of people, approximately, develop perinatal anxiety.
- PSI International -
This estimate rose to 1 in 3 following the pandemic in Canada.
Perinatal/Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)
How anxiety may show up in pregnancy and postpartum;
1. Thoughts - worries, worst-case scenarios, ongoing future-oriented thinking, intrusive thoughts/images around themes such as baby's safety
2. Body responses - feeling panicky, somatic complaints, shallow breath, racing heart, palpitations, dizziness,
3 Behaviours/actions - avoiding certain people/places/things, repetitive behaviours intended to reduce distress (ie. checking), reassurance-seeking, changes to sleep and appetite
4. Intense feelings - mood swings, uncharacteristic anger/rage, weepiness, fear
Anxiety before birth
You might experience worries about: your own and baby's health & safety, worries about pregnancy loss, stress regarding your current or future circumstances, concerns your relationship may change, and fears around birth or about something bad happening.
Anxiety after birth
You may experience similar worries and body reactions, including intrusive thoughts around accidental or intentional harm to baby. You may feel afraid to be left alone with baby or how to manage being in public spaces. It's common to simply worry about being a good parent.
While some anxiety is normal and to be expected...
occasionally the anxiety response goes on "overdrive," causing distress, while taking up a lot of time, energy, and headspace. You may wonder how to tell the difference between symptoms of problematic anxiety and the reality of being a breathless pregnant person or a sleepy new parent.
It never hurts to speak with a counsellor to find out.
Whether you are being impacted a little or a lot by perinatal anxiety, counselling can be a helpful resource to feel more at ease and available to connect with your baby.
Perinatal/Postpartum Depression (PPD)
Unlike the baby blues (which typically starts within the first week postpartum, subsiding within two weeks), or normal periods of low mood, postpartum depression (PPD) can have symptoms lasting over weeks or months (some argue extending well past the perinatal period). How Perinatal Depression may show up:
1. Thoughts - excessive worries, thoughts of harming self or baby, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, self-doubt
2. Body responses - extreme fatigue, loss of energy and motivation, or restlessness
3 Behaviours/actions - loss of interest in things you enjoyed and loved, changes to sleep and appetite, frequent crying, lack of interest in being around baby, severe insomnia, withdrawal from others
4. Intense feelings - sadness, guilt, shame or feeling unworthy.
It's not your fault
Postpartum depression is treatable, does not reflect your capacity as a parent and you are not to blame.
Unfortunately, the realities of new parenthood - such as prolonged sleep deprivation, little time to eat nutritious meals, hormonal drops, changes in social relationships, lack of outside time and activity/movement, significantly reduced time for self-care - are all conditions that may create vulnerabilities to depression. Pair this with inadequate support or isolation and we have potential for a perfect storm. It's also not uncommon to experience a combination of anxiety and depressive symptoms.
Start in-person perinatal/postpartum counselling with me
Book a free 15 min initial consultation
Reaching out can be hard. Please know that you will be met with kindness, compassion, and understanding on the other end. Finding a good fit matters and your questions are welcome.
If you're ready to take the next step to learn what possibilities for positive change are waiting for you, or have more questions, you are invited to book a free phone or online consultation. There is no obligation to move forward following this consult. Bookings are managed through JaneApp (click the button below).
Alternatively, if you have questions before you book, you can contact me through the form provided. You can expect a response within 1-2 business days.